Getting Over a Breakup...yeah it's hard

This subject is a hard one and I'm sure if you found this post you're looking for answers and as much as you don't believe me right now yes, even in the worst breakups you can make it through.

I've experienced one of the worst breakups you can imagine. I dated a guy for four years and then he broke up with me over text for another girl while we were at college. I was devastated and trust me, it wasn't easy at all. Now, that was just the first time. We ended up getting back together and then that also came to an end a year later the same way as the first time. I came home from vacation excited to see him and he breaks up with me only to get a new girlfriend an hour later. It also came out that he cheated on me multiple times, lied about the smallest things, and dated multiple girls at once.

This time you'd think the hurt wouldn't be so bad, but it was. I remember crying my eyes out begging him that we could work things out. I'm 20 and I dated him for 4 years which is almost a quarter of my life. I felt like I was losing everything. But I am here to tell you that even after that heartbreak and all that I've been through that it does get better and your life is so much better off without him. But I completely understand that feeling isn't immediate and it is going to take some time to completely feel at peace. I'm going to share some tips that helped me make it through and I hope they work for you.

1. Cut him out of your life completely (and yes, literally everything about him has to go) 

I made this mistake the first time. I blocked him over text but not on all social media and I found myself constantly checking up on him which didn't help me heal either. All his pictures, belongings, etc. need to go until you feel like you can look at those things without feeling upset. This also helps you leave him out of your life. DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT text him. Again, this was another mistake I made the first time. I would answer him when we would reach out to me and he would only reach out to me to tell me about his new girlfriend which obviously didn't feel too great. Just tell yourself it's over and remove him from your life.

2. Find a support system

This is the most important thing. It's going to be hard and you are going to need someone you can talk to. You're going to experience alternating feelings if anger and sadness and you need at least someone to vent to and get those feelings out and to remind you that you are going to be okay and you deserve so much better. You need those friends that will be honest with you and tell you that he's not worth your time.

3. Feel your feelings

You're going to cry. It's just a fact. And don't hide it either. If you feel upset then feel it. That's completely normal and you deserve to get those feelings out. My aunt would tell me that what I'm feeling is rational and that I just need to feel it rather than holding it in. Holding it in only makes you feel worse and honestly, crying is calming in a way.

4. Do something

This is simple but it goes a long way and includes a wide range of things. Doing something includes getting out of bed and doing a face mask or getting out and buying those shoes you've been eyeing up. But do something for yourself and do what makes you happy. I would find that when I would sit alone I would just end up thinking about how I felt and old memories which did not make me feel any better. I needed to remind myself every day to do one thing for myself and doing one thing that made me happy made the difference to help me heal each day.

But you got this! I know exactly how it feels and I can assure you that this feeling isn't forever. You deserve so much better and there is someone out there that will make you endlessly happy. Breakups are hard but you will definitely make it through.

❤ Courtney